(Dedicated especially to two of my coach friends: Dr. György Sárvári and Péter Dara - hope they will find it as my appreciation to their work)
I've found this on a LinkedIn group-forum and the post has a shelf life, later on it disappears... I have thought it's worth keeping it...:-)))
the author is: Gregg Thompson
Summary
Dangerous conversations aim at:
- Unearthing important values/goals
- Generating extreme possibilities
- Making major shifts in performance
3 suggestions:
- Have at least one dangerous conversation per day
- List the 2 or 3 behaviors you employ to avoid dangerous conversations
- Start a dangerous conversation with someone on the topic of their choice
The post:
Albert Schweitzer once said, “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”
All great coaching conversations are “Dangerous” to some degree. They are not dangerous because someone will be hurt but rather because they are uncertain, pursue values-laden topics, evoke emotions and ask people to make serious commitments. They are dangerous because they ask a lot of us. They ask us to explore our most important values, confront our dearest aspirations and make profound personal promises. All tough stuff.
Dangerous Conversations go beyond the usual transactions of day-to-day business which are intended to inform, exchange information, solve problems and the like. Dangerous Conversations, on the other hand, aim at:
- unearthing important values and aspirations, - generating extreme possibilities and - making major shifts in performance.
They are riskier largely because they involve important personal issues and call for some important personal changes. These conversations will broach topics such passions, disappointments, sacrifice, legacies and personal meaning. In coaching conversations, with great risk comes great reward.
Some questions to ponder:
- Do you routinely initiate Dangerous Conversations? - Do you typically avoid conversations in which emotions run high? - Are there some topics that make you very nervous and ones that you usually find a way to sidestep?
Here are 3 practical things you can do this week to increase the impact of your coaching conversations:
1. Challenge yourself to develop the habit of engaging in Dangerous Conversations by having at least one such conversation every day.
2. Become aware and make a list of the 2 or 3 behaviors you most frequently employ to avoid having Dangerous Conversations. We all do this.
3. Approach a few of the people with whom you frequently interact and invite a Dangerous Conversation on a topic that they would like to raise with you. Make note of your reaction and the results of the conversation.
Try these three things, and I guarantee you that this will significantly increase the quality of your coaching conversations...